by Shannon Patrick Sullivan

You've all seen Survivor on CBS. Come on, admit it. Yes, even you, down in the back. Why, even the Brits are getting tapes smuggled out to them (rumor has it through a mysterious black marketeer called Dav Idjhowe, though we think that might be an alias). You can deny it, but we know the truth.

Now, in a bid to bring back Doctor Who in a more popular format, the BBC has sent 16 popular (and not-so-popular) Who characters into the Death Zone on Gallifrey. Grouped into two tribes, the Kaleds and the Thals, they had to work together to survive the terrain, traps and terrors, all the while working toward the ultimate prize of one million grotzits.

Every three days, the two tribes will competed in an Immunity Challenge. The losers had to make the trek to the legendary Dark Tower at the center of the Death Zone, where they will vote one of their own out of the game in Tribal Council.

Now, the situation has changed, though the stakes are no different. The two tribes have merged into one. Gallifreya is the name, and it's every man, woman and other extraterrestrial creature for him-, her- or itself.

This is... WHOvivor!

Cue faux-African version of the Doctor Who theme music.

How It Works

Every Wednesday beginning August 23rd, a new "episode" of WHOvivor will be posted, chronicling a three-day period in the game. Unlike Survivor, in which the results of the Tribal Council are revealed before the episode is over, in WHOvivor the identity of the latest castaway to be kicked out of the Death Zone is kept a secret until the next installment.

Why? This is where you come in. Once an episode is posted, readers will have until the following Monday to vote on who they want to see kicked out of the Death Zone. The results will be posted at the start of the subsequent installment, available on Wednesday. This is the way the first twelve episodes will work.

Part thirteen is a little different. Episode twelve voting will conclude early -- on November 18th -- at which point only the Tribal Council results will be unveiled. Readers will then have until November 21st to decide who amongst the remaining four WHOvivors they want to see win the one million grotzits. The extra-length final episode will be posted in its entirety on November 23rd, just in time for Doctor Who's thirty-seventh anniversary.

Ready? Okay, read the latest episode and then cast your vote...



Here are some scenes that didn't happen in WHOvivor... but maybe they should have...

The Castaways



A mathematically-gifted but socially-challenged youth from the planet Alzarius, in the Death Zone Adric looks forward to eating a lot and boasting about his rapid healing ability at every possible opportunity.

Luxury Item: Book entitled Block Transfer Computations For Dummies


An easy-going sailor from the 1960s, Ben hopes to put his affable charm and navy experience to good use in the Death Zone, and to make a better name for himself than just "that guy who was around before Jamie".

Luxury Item: Picture of Polly ("But we're just friends," Ben claims)


Bernice ("Benny" to her friends) is a divorced archaeology professor from the 25th-century (give or take) who looks forward to spending her time excavating the Death Zone, hopefully uncovering some ancient Gallifreyan liquor in the process.

Luxury Item: A flask of something that looks almost as suspicious as it smells


A mad but brilliant scientist from Skaro, Davros has only one arm, no eyes, and is confined to a wheelchair; he hopes to show what evil old paraplegics can do when they set their minds to it -- win a million grotzits, mutate the other contestants into creatures uglier than he is, or both.

Luxury Item: Spare batteries


Having been raised on a planet where humanity devolved into superstitious barbarians, Leela seems like a natural to win it all on WHOvivor, though her nasty habit of playing with sharp knives and poisonous janis thorns, and her inability use contractions, might not win her any friends.

Luxury Item: Brown contact lenses


A scientist with more degrees than Phoenix in mid-summer, Liz -- who hails from England in some murkily-defined part of the 1970s -- offers her vast body of knowledge to aid the Death Zone castaways, where she'd like to finally reduce someone else to being her assistant.

Luxury Item: High school chemistry set


A Time Lord whose favourite hobby is to mess about with established history for kicks, the portly Meddling Monk figures that if he doesn't win the million grotzits, he can always go back in time and fix things later.

Luxury Item: Spare dimensional controller


Perpugilliam "Peri" Brown comes from the United States in 1984 (no matter what you might think of her accent) and hopes that the Death Zone turns out to be a better place for a vacation than Lanzarote.

Luxury Item: Extra-support bra


A megalomaniacal Time Lord with a fetish for dressing up as annoying red-haired British girls, the Rani is highly skilled in world conquest, physiological experiments, and turning people into big rubber trees.

Luxury Item: Stattenheim remote control


Susan, a Gallifreyan (maybe) of uncertain parentage most recently making her home on 22nd-century Earth, hopes that her skill with a sharp pair of scissors and skull-piercing shriek will prove to be big assets in her tribe's hunt for food.

Luxury Item: Ankle splints (pack of 12)



An aristocrat from the fearsome Ice Warrior race, Azaxyr intends to use WHOvivor to demonstrate the superiority of his species over all others.

Luxury Item: Personal refrigerator


A con-man from the far future whose notoriety spans almost as many galaxies as his waistline, Glitz plans to do as little work as possible in the Death Zone, and would frankly prefer to steal the million grotzits from the winner than earn them himself.

Luxury Item: Pair of dice (weighted)


A high priest on the alien planet Skonnos, Soldeed believes that his years of working with men in tights and big dumb bull-head masks give him the edge he needs to win it all on WHOvivor.

Luxury Item: Big dumb bull-head mask

THAL Tribe


A rudely-shaped creature with six arms and one big eye, Alpha Centauri possesses the startlingly useless ability to change colors depending on her mood, but does hope to act as a diplomat amongst the members of her tribe, as long as there isn't too much yelling.

Luxury Item: Cape
Final Words


Melanie "Mel" Bush, a carrot-topped computer programmer from 1980s England, has her mind set on ensuring that all the castaways enjoy a proper exercise regimen throughout their stay in the Death Zone.

Luxury Item: Carrot juice, carrot juice, carrot juice!


An Aztec high priest from the 15th century, Tlotoxl hopes that his skill in preparing raw meat will ingratiate himself to his fellow competitors.

Luxury Item: Face paint (1 tub)

Disclaimer and Copyright

Doctor Who: WHOvivor is copyright © 2000 Shannon Patrick Sullivan. Correspondence is welcome at shannon@mun.ca. No portion of this web site may reproduced without the consent of the author.

Doctor Who is copyright © 2000 by the British Broadcasting Corporation. Survivor is copyright © 2000 CBS Worldwide, Inc. No infringement is intended upon the rights of the BBC, CBS Worldwide, or or any holders of any copyright referenced herein. This web site is intended solely as a work of parody.

Most images courtesy The Doctor Who Image Archive, except Bernice Summerfield-Kane and WHOvivor logo images courtesy Greg McElhatton, and Soldeed image courtesy Marcus Durham.

Back to Doctor Who: A Brief History Of Time (Travel)

Back to Features